The Garbage-Time Hex of Detroit Lions
Detroit Lions defense
“The Lions defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Detroit Lions defense's week
- The Lions defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
- The Lions will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
73%POTENCY
-17.9PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Lions drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Jake Bates
- Isaac TeSlaa
- DeAndre Carter
- Miles Kitselman
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Detroit Lions defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Detroit Lions defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Detroit Lions defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.