The Garbage-Time Hex of Detroit Lions
Detroit Lions defense
“The Lions defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Detroit Lions defense's week
- The Lions defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Lions defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
84%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Lions's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Jake Bates
- Isaac TeSlaa
- DeAndre Carter
- Miles Kitselman
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
FAQ
How do I curse Detroit Lions defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Detroit Lions defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Detroit Lions defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.