The Doink Hex of Eddy Pineiro
Eddy Pineiro · SF · K
“Pineiro finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Pineiro's week
- Pineiro gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
- Pineiro will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
72%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Pineiro, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Christian McCaffrey
- Brock Purdy
- Mike Evans
- George Kittle
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Deebo Samuel Sr.
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Eddy Pineiro in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eddy Pineiro is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eddy Pineiro actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.