The Late Scratch Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for McPherson. McPherson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
91%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
McPherson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.