The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time McPherson trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
90%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A single Falcons jersey, ironically worn
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Eye of Dolphins, tongue of ref,
Bring Bengals down to grief,
McPherson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.