The Shank Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- McPherson will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.
82%POTENCY
-19PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single tear from a Falcons fan
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
McPherson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.