The Wide Left Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
- McPherson gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
90%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take McPherson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.