The Shank Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- McPherson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
85%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take McPherson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.