The Doink Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida's biggest rival.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- McPherson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
87%POTENCY
-13PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
McPherson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.