The Wide Left Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- A mysterious flag erases McPherson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over McPherson's stadium. Only over McPherson.
78%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take McPherson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.