The Chip-and-Release Hex of Gunnar Helm
Gunnar Helm · TEN · TE
“Helm gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Helm's week
- Helm is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Helm will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
72%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Helm's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Carnell Tate
- Tony Pollard
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Gunnar Helm in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Gunnar Helm is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Gunnar Helm actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.