The Late Scratch Hex of Ian Thomas
Ian Thomas · LV · TE
“Thomas tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Thomas's week
- Thomas gets a 40-yard pass, then immediately "adjusts his gloves" and is injured. Tragic.
- Thomas goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
72%POTENCY
-9.5PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Patriots jersey, ironically worn
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Thomas drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ashton Jeanty
- Brock Bowers
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- Sam LaPorta
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- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse Ian Thomas in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ian Thomas is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ian Thomas actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.