The Late Scratch Hex of Indianapolis Colts
Indianapolis Colts defense
“The Colts defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Indianapolis Colts defense's week
- The Colts defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Colts offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
74%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Colts, Colts, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jonathan Taylor
- Tyler Warren
- Daniel Jones
- Spencer Shrader
- Seth McGowan
- Pharaoh Brown
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
- Arizona Cardinals
- Seattle Seahawks
FAQ
How do I curse Indianapolis Colts defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Indianapolis Colts defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Indianapolis Colts defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.