The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Arkansas's biggest rival.
- Bates will be perfect on extra points and absolutely nothing else.
89%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Butker
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.