The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Jake Bates
Jake Bates · DET · K
“Bates will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Bates's week
- Bates will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- The broadcast shows Bates on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
86%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Bates, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Butker
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Bates in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Bates is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Bates actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.