The Late Scratch Hex of Jake Elliott
Jake Elliott · PHI · K
“Elliott kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Elliott's week
- Elliott finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Elliott trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.
83%POTENCY
-10.9PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Elliott drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- DeVonta Smith
- Brandon Aubrey
- Makai Lemon
- Dallas Goedert
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Eli Stowers
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Elliott in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Elliott is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Elliott actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.