The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Jake Elliott
Jake Elliott · PHI · K
“Elliott's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Elliott's week
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Elliott is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
- Elliott hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
74%POTENCY
-16.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single Jaguars jersey, ironically worn
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Elliott's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Saquon Barkley
- DeVonta Smith
- Brandon Aubrey
- Makai Lemon
- Dallas Goedert
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Eli Stowers
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Jake Elliott in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jake Elliott is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jake Elliott actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.