The Kneel-Down Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff leads a 14-play, 9-minute drive that ends in a field goal. Fantasy points: 1.6.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goff gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.
75%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A used challenge flag
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Goff, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.