The Chip-and-Release Hex of Jelani Woods
Jelani Woods · NYJ · TE
“Woods gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Virginia's biggest rival.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Woods's week
- Woods's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Woods is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
77%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Woods's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Breece Hall
- Colston Loveland
- Garrett Wilson
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
FAQ
How do I curse Jelani Woods in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jelani Woods is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jelani Woods actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.