The Kneel-Down Hex of Josh Allen
Josh Allen · BUF · QB
“Allen gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
- Allen goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
75%POTENCY
-10.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- James Cook III
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- DJ Moore
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Josh Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Josh Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Josh Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.