The Checkdown Hex of Josh Allen
Josh Allen · BUF · QB
“Allen gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
86%POTENCY
-16.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Colts locker room
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Allen's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- James Cook III
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- DJ Moore
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Josh Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Josh Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Josh Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.