The Sideline-Scold Hex of Josh Allen
Josh Allen · BUF · QB
“Allen will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Allen gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
84%POTENCY
-14.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- James Cook III
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- DJ Moore
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Josh Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Josh Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Josh Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.