The Sideline-Scold Hex of Josh Allen
Josh Allen · BUF · QB
“Allen will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Allen gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Wyoming's biggest rival.
91%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Allen drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- James Cook III
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- DJ Moore
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Josh Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Josh Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Josh Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.