The Sideline-Scold Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Cousins slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.
89%POTENCY
-14.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cousins drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.