The Sideline-Scold Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Ref: "Number Cousins, that's a flag." Cousins: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
77%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Cousins, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.