The Hamstring Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- A mysterious flag erases Cousins's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
76%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Cousins, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.