The Intentional Grounding Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- A mysterious flag erases Cousins's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
91%POTENCY
-17.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cousins drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
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- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.