The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins will scan the entire field, find nobody open, and take a 9-yard sack for his trouble.
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
82%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Lions jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cousins drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.