The Checkdown Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- Cousins will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
83%POTENCY
-15.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Vikings locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Cousins, Cousins, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.