The Intentional Grounding Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Cousins leads a 14-play, 9-minute drive that ends in a field goal. Fantasy points: 1.6.
75%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Cousins's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.