The Snap Count Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins takes a knee 3 times with the lead. History books will not mention the fantasy cost.
- Cousins is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
80%POTENCY
-18.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Bills jersey, ironically worn
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cousins drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.