The Late Scratch Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.
- Cousins is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
83%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Eye of Eagles, tongue of ref,
Bring Vikings down to grief,
Cousins scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.