The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Cousins is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
91%POTENCY
-12.9PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cousins's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.