The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
- Cousins gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
83%POTENCY
-10.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Eye of Bengals, tongue of ref,
Bring Vikings down to grief,
Cousins scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.