The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- Cousins audibles into a play the receivers did not audible into.
80%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Cousins's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.