The Intentional Grounding Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“At 38, Stafford is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- Stafford is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Stafford will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
74%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Cardinals jersey, ironically worn
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Eye of Dolphins, tongue of ref,
Bring Rams down to grief,
Stafford scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.