The Late Scratch Hex of Miami Dolphins
Miami Dolphins defense
“The Dolphins offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Miami Dolphins defense's week
- The Dolphins defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Dolphins defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
91%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Dolphins drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Kaytron Allen
- Jaylen Wright
- Malik Washington
- Chris Bell
- Caleb Douglas
- Greg Dulcich
- Carlos Washington Jr.
- Zane Gonzalez
- Jalen Reagor
- Ollie Gordon II
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Miami Dolphins defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Miami Dolphins defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Miami Dolphins defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.