The Chip-and-Release Hex of Miles Kitselman
Miles Kitselman · DET · TE
“Rookie Kitselman gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Kitselman's week
- Kitselman's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- A mysterious flag erases Kitselman's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
86%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Giants locker room
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Kitselman's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Miles Kitselman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Miles Kitselman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Miles Kitselman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.