The Blocking Assignment Hex of Miles Kitselman
Miles Kitselman · DET · TE
“Kitselman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Kitselman's week
- Rookie Kitselman gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Kitselman sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
87%POTENCY
-12.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Kitselman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Jameson Williams
- Sam LaPorta
- Jared Goff
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Miles Kitselman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Miles Kitselman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Miles Kitselman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.