The Late Scratch Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
- The Patriots defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
72%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patriots, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.