The Hamstring Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
- The Patriots defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
90%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single tear from a Dolphins fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patriots drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.