The Garbage-Time Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Patriots defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
75%POTENCY
-13.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patriots, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.