The Hamstring Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Patriots defense gets a pick-six called back for a penalty on... the defense. In the end zone.
72%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Patriots, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.