The Garbage-Time Hex of New York Jets
New York Jets defense
“The Jets defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins New York Jets defense's week
- The Jets defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
- The Jets defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
86%POTENCY
-13.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Jets's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Breece Hall
- Garrett Wilson
- Kenyon Sadiq
- Braelon Allen
- Mason Taylor
- Omar Cooper Jr.
- Adonai Mitchell
- Geno Smith
- Jelani Woods
- Sterling Shepard
- Joseph Manjack IV
- Cade Klubnik
FAQ
How do I curse New York Jets defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New York Jets defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New York Jets defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.