The Blocking Assignment Hex of Pharaoh Brown
Pharaoh Brown · IND · TE
“Brown will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Brown's week
- Brown is "week-to-week" in the same way the sun is "day-to-day".
- Brown finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
87%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bengals locker room
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Brown drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jonathan Taylor
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse Pharaoh Brown in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Pharaoh Brown is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Pharaoh Brown actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.