The Shank Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- The broadcast shows Patterson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
- A mysterious flag erases Patterson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
73%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Seahawks locker room
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.