The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Patterson kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
92%POTENCY
-16.6PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patterson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.