The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- The crowd chants "WIDE LEFT" for Patterson. Patterson does not ignore it. Neither does the ball.
88%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A single tear from a Raiders fan
- A used challenge flag
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Patterson, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.