The Doink Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- A mysterious flag erases Patterson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- The broadcast shows Patterson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
78%POTENCY
-14.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Bears jersey, ironically worn
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.