The Wind Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Ref: "Number Patterson, that's a flag." Patterson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
73%POTENCY
-10.7PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bears locker room
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Patterson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.